Often times I find myself, overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of life as a Single Mom. Living life with a lot of little people brings me days full of joy, pain, exhaustion, gratitude, inability, tears, and laughter. I'm going to be honest. It's SO SO SO HARD. I wish there where more days of joy and laughter.
In March of 2022, just one year ago, God began a quiet whisper in my soul. Rest & Trust...You need to Rest and just trust me.
"Um, excuse me. Did you say rest? How in the world am I able to rest? You do realize that I have 8 kids and I do EVERYTHING on my own and all the responsibilities of keeping these humans alive lies in my hands." No matter how much I tried to get Him to understand (foolish of me, I know right?), He continued the soft whisper. Rest and Trust. I wrested with that for a very long time. "I do trust you Lord! I trust that next year when we are in our new house, I will have time to Rest and Trust." I continued on with my stubbornness. That small whisper...Rest & Trust never let up. Little did I know, the Lord was about to do some mighty things and teach me some MAJOR lessons. Let me be the first to say that when the Lord says Rest & Trust, you do it...NOW. Not on your own time, but HIS time.
One Sunday morning, that March, the Lord asked me, "Why won't you trust me? You need to trust and believe that you need to Rest & Trust in me. I understand that you want to Rest and Trust next year, but I need you to Rest and Trust NOW" I finally got the message, threw up my hands and said, "Ok, I will Rest and Trust you now." I call that time in my life my "My March Madness".
Opening up my hands and surrendering was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Shortly after that time, I learned that rest was in my near future. I ended up having surgery and was put on strict bed rest for 6-8 weeks. The Lord also began a stirring, yet again, in my heart. This time it was "Girl, I want you to quit your job." Um...are you crazy Lord, you do remember that I'm a single mom whose child support barely makes a dent in our needs and that I have to do every thing I can to provide over and above that support to make ends meet." As the weeks carried on, after surgery, while I was resting in His presence, I began praying for wisdom to continue to trust Him. FOR HIS TIMING.
"Yes, Lord. I will quit my job. But when?"
He said, "Rest in me and I will tell you when the time is right."
Fast forward a few months and my day started with the intent to talk to my boss about reducing my hours...yet again. I was so tired from trying to do things on my own. Trying to provide. Trying to work outside the home, run a business from home, transport kids to and from school, afterschool activities, doctor, dentist, orthodontist, physical therapy, church, concerts, school field trips and more. I felt 100% sure that I needed to be home with my babies and spend less time packing my days doing things MY WAY. That beautiful day, I walked in my office and quit my job. I gave my two week notice and began to Trust the Lord...for TODAY. Trust Him NOW.
Wow...what a long year it has been. So many ups and downs and spirals, and tears and prayers, and requests, etc. I still don't have it completely figured out. I still struggle with Rest and Trust. I'm happy to say, however, that seeing how the Lord has carried us through the past year has been nothing but absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and so rewarding. I pray that I never forget His faithfulness and goodness to our family.
A new chapter is on the horizon for us. We will soon be moving into our very own home. We were blessed to be a recipient family of a brand new Habitat House. It is being built with love and care by amazing volunteers in community, local real estate agents, and we got to help as well. One amazing blessing about this home is that we will have two dishwashers, two washers, and two dryers. Those of you who have more than a couple of kids can probably understand my excitement about these things.
As the weeks march on, closer and closer to our move in date, the joy and excitement in me is rising. This has been one of the longest, and hardest years of my life. I'm not saying that a new house will protect us from hard years, but that the Lord has found it in His grace and kindness to bless us with a fresh start in a new home. Something I've never had ever imagined.
I have so many amazing stories of God's provision. I'm here to say, as hard as it may seem, and as hard as it ACTUALLY IS...I beg and plead for you to Rest & Trust in Jesus. Trust HIM for TODAY, not for SOMEDAY! I can't fathom how much harder and more difficult this past year could have been had I not had Christ to help carry me through those dark months.
I woke up to a message from a dear friend who prayed for me over the phone. Lord her words were a gift this morning. You timing is EPIC!
"Lord, I give everyone and everything to you God. Fill me Lord with more of you. So, Lord, that really does cover everything and all of the things that are weighing on us, and we are thinking about. But we can't let that stay in us because we were not meant to carry it. It's not up to us. We are not God, we are not Holy Spirit Jr. You are in control, you do not need us to handle the things. You need us to lay them at your feet. Be in a place of PEACE. In a place of REST."
Here I am Lord, listening, listening for your voice.
Misty Dupree
