So, about these books I’ve been writing, they are no way near ready for publication, but I need to share a little bit of my heart with you today because it’s so cool how the Lord uses things like this to remind me of his faithfulness.
Book 1 is called “Walk On - A Story of Fear, Faith,
& Freedom in Christ.” Today I’ve
been hit with some of the hardest news I could possibly imagine. I will stand strong and grow from the pain
and tears. And from today forward, I’ve
been charged to “Now Run – Grab the Baton and RUN to Christ.” (Book 2).
Aug 12th, 2022.
That was the last day at my part-time job, working outside the
home. I had quit my job with COMPLETE faith
and put my FULL trust in the Lord. I began working from home as a Real Estate
Agent and also working more diligently on my Medical Bag Tag launch.
I didn’t just wake up one day and decide this, I prayed and
prayed; sought counsel; wrestled; prayed more, and ultimately chose the path less
traveled. I took the leap of faith and
put my FULL TRUST IN THE LORD.
The Lord had begun stirring in my heart in March of last
year that my trust, although good, wasn’t FULLY IN HIM. That was probably one of the hardest things
to do as a human, but also the easiest to do as a child of God. To be able to put my whole reliance on HIM as
my provider brings so much peace during trials.
In human terms, you might say I’ve had a year from
hell. I lost my Food Stamps 3 times and ultimately
the final time, Medicaid at least once, and the delay of child support payments
getting to me between two states has set me back numerous times resulting in
nearly $1000 in late fees and banking overdraft fees. Every month I cry and struggle and my faith
is tested. BUT GOD. He is so good and always HIS TIMING IS
PERFECT. I will always believe
that. NO MATTER WHAT…GOD’S TIMING IS
PERFECT. He knows our heart's desires,
needs, wants, and even the things that we don’t see. He sees our tears, our longings, etc. He is ULTIMATLY in control and I WILL SUBMIT to
HIM in everything. Even when it is hard.
I was reading Job Chapters 1-5 this morning. In Chapter 1:20, even after losing his
worldly possessions and then all his children, “Job got up and tore his robe
and shaved his head. Then he fell to the
ground in worship.” Job worshiped the Lord
after losing everything.
Little did I know that the very act of following God and quitting
my job in August 2022 would come back full circle and “bite me in the butt” as
the world would say almost exactly 1 year later. I’ve been hit with some of the hardest news I
could possibly imagine. But I will not sway. I will stand strong and grow from the pain
and tears from this morning’s news.
Choosing Self-Employment over working outside the home has been such a
blessing for our family. I’m not saying
it’s easy at all but it does come with some perks. However, when getting a mortgage on a home, self-employment
income can only be counted if it is on a Tax Return. So, now we wait…until
December when I file my taxes. Self-employment
income MUST be on a Tax Return. Even if
I made all the $ in the world and could make over and above all the required house
payments, getting a loan still requires that.
The expectations of moving into our brand new home have been delayed
until the beginning of next year.
As much as it hurts, I’m not blaming myself, or anyone else. I simply followed my GOD. HE IS BIGGER. HE IS STILL FAITHFUL. I STILL FULLY TRUST HIM. GOD IS STILL GOOD. This is not the news I was hoping to hear,
but HIS TIMING IS PERFECT. Maybe there
is more learning and growing I need to endure.
Maybe He wants us to rid of more stuff weighing down our lives and our
family. Maybe there are more people I
need to share my story with. More lives
to touch. More experiences with trials
and pain allow me to be a better friend to others going through similar experiences. Or maybe I’ll never know this side of heaven
and that’s okay. I will hold my head
high, take deep breaths, and Walk On.
But during the next 6 months, you might find me in the season of Now
Run.
Please remember to pray for our family as we RUN TO CHRIST during
this next season. If you want to pray
for specifics… then by all means:
In 6 months I will still have to pay $9000 in rent, need to
pay off about $7000 in debt, need to buy a 2nd car (or somehow fix
two non-running ones), and still show a net income of $3153.17 per month oh yeah,
and also feed, clothe, and pay for electricity for our family too!
When I’ve been in a very long season of walking and now, I’m
being required to run, please pray that I remember to run to Christ when I’m
weary and want to give up.
As far as any financial gifts you have given towards our new
home build/purchase via GoFundMe, they will be set aside in a special savings account
to be held for closing at the beginning of next year.
My prayer and scripture for the next 6 months is found in
Ephesians 3:14-21
“For this reason, I kneel before the Father, from whom every
family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen US with power
through his Spirit in OUR inner beings so that Christ may dwell in OUR hearts through
faith. And I pray that I, being rooted
and established in love, may have power together with the Lord’s holy people,
to grasp how wide and how long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to
know this love that surpasses knowledge – that WE may be filled to the measure
of all the fulness of God.
“Now to HIM who is able to do immeasurably more than all we
ask or imagine, according to HIS power that is at work within us, to HIM be
glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever
and ever! Amen!”
